Hailees Daily Dose

I try to be a lover of life and people. I keep telling myself that the good outweigh the evil in this journey we travel. There are things that I don’t understand and probably never will however, I continue to keep searching for all of the questions unanswered.

I believe in a higher power. God. I think that we are arrogant to believe we ( the humans)  are the only race that lives. There must be others. In all of this, I also believe that our higher power knows what we need to grow and I appreciate that but I don’t understand the heartbreak and pain that we must endure.  What’s the point in that part of that therory ? I have suffered so much loss in my life. What haven’t I got yet ?! What more could there possibly be?

 I have watched people suffer through painful, life ending disease. I have witnessed people live in disease ridden bodies for years. Every day, is a blessing, yet painful reminder of the challenges they personally face….Why would such a loving caring higher power do this to us? 

Why do some of us live in such hell on Earth? I have been pushed to every limit and I still get back up. I have had another try to take my very life who also took my child’s life. I have been beaten to the point I had to be identified. I’ve lived a life that is full of hate, torture, resentment, abuse. I still stand back up. I start again. I’ve lost everything I have worked for. I spend alot of time serving others. When I really needed someone to save me. I’ve saved others so many times at so many different levels. I fought wars that weren’t mine. I have been tested beyond what most can’t even imagine. Yet, I’ve worn a smile on my face when I couldn’t stand the thought. I’ve lived when I truly wanted to die. What things couldn’t I have learned?!

Are you hearing me? My higher power. Do you hear me?! What more can I do to prove myself​ worthy to live a peaceful, happy life?

I will continue to see the good. The hope. The love. I serve others no questions asked because I know what it’s like to be in their shoes. I do so willingly because I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have someone by my side during my trials.

During my life I have been made to feel like I am not worth the space I take up just by existing. When will I be worthy of being a person that someone will love and support me just the way ​I am? When do I get be the one that is all another sees and loves unconditionally? When?!

There is only one entity that can answer these questions. Are you listening? Are you there?

Published by: sarcastic sadi

I love life, believe in hope, love and the belief that most people are genuinely good. I am a fighter. I am a survivor. I am strength. I am fear. I am an open book. I keep it real

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