Yeah, you read that right. I am a very sarcastic person. Mostly it’s all in fun because I like to laugh and it’s always a surprise ( even to me) to hear stuff rolling off my tongue. Then there is some of it that’s my way of coping or hiding from things that aren’t safe in my mind or comfortable for me to address.
Acting like a teenager who will never grow up is a pretty damn fun way to attack back at the things in this life that scare the hell out of me. On the other hand, I love nothing more than enjoying living in the moment. That’s the stuff that create memories. Defining which I am doing sometimes though, is a complicated task.
There are times that I admittedly do it in the wrong moment. For instance at the doctors office or in the attorneys office when I should be serious but fear takes control of the moment as a way of avoidance and stuff rolls right out.
Today I learned that emotions are complex, biologically programmed and action/reaction actually come second. I also learned that emotions can never be changed, are brief in duration and are self perpetuating. I never thought about them being biological. It’s a pretty interesting concept. I learned a lot about myself today. My sarcasm is my biological response. I have a lot of work to do to get this concept through this thick head but it will come in time.
In the meantime, I will continue to be exactly as I am. My sarcastic self. I know that I need to differentiate between coping and just being silly. That’s why I have multiple therapists and groups. I’m learning about myself and changing my thinking errors. I’m getting to a better me. Sarcasm and all.
More Love. Less Hate. H