Hailees Daily Dose

Today is the last day that there will be any talk of the crap going on around us on my pages. My head and my heart can’t take anymore. I choose to be part of the solution not the problem. The negative has to go. It’s literally killing me. This is where I draw the line and fight back with all that is right, good and beautiful. If you don’t respect that, then YOU are part of the PROBLEM and have to go. Call it what you like, but I expect my circle to get smaller and I am just fine with that. No more ugly. I will not subject myself any longer.

On the drive home this morning, I was cruising down the freeway, windows down, music up, thinking. I was thinking about what a beautiful world we live in, the one before the world starts waking up. It’s no secret that I love mornings and listening to the world wake up. Today though, it hit me like a ton of bricks that we are the problem. Pretty obvious McFly right? 

Seriously, with all of the ugly going on around us, I can’t help but wonder if anyone else wakes up and just listens or if people jump up thinking today, I think I will trash everything possible. I honestly don’t know what we’re thinking as a whole any more.

I was once proud of being part of certain groups and fighting for change. I can no longer condone any of the extreme crap that is going on any side. I was proud of my heritage, my ability to see around the negative. Proud to be an American, living in the greatest country in our world, grateful for all of the freedoms we have. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still grateful for all of the above, but I am losing faith in humanity as a whole.

Never, did I ever think that we would regress like we have. We’re destroying our history, trying to erase the past, a past that we should be proud to celebrate because we have opened our eyes, hearts and minds and grown. We have learned that people are indeed created equal and that we can live together as one. At least, that was the impression that we have tried to out out there. That’s why everyone flocks to our country isn’t it?

Is our nation perfect? No. There’s no such thing. I used to believe that we were still trying to grow. That idea has been washed away. We are a multi-racial family that experienced racism at different levels. I try to believe that there is still hope that people will see the light. If we’re keeping it real, our family reality consists of some really gray area. There are places we could never go together because of our make up. I keep hoping that one day, that will change. I’m losing site of that hope, a little more each day. I see the things that my sons could be facing once I have to let them go and grow up. It’s one of those terrifying thoughts that I live with every day. After all, we’ve been pretty lucky and lived a very open minded home but protected life.

I adopted my kids for the beautiful, amazing humans they are, hoping that I could give them a good life and a family. Not once, have I ever felt the need to apologise to my children for the past. I owe them nothing for the “used to be” twisted world we lived in, the ass backward thinking. That’s the past. I would never think that what our ancestors did would be my debt to any society. It’s not and I refuse to own it. I am proud that we stopped seeing things in a way that so very wrong but is there a debt I owe anyone? Hell no! Am I hoping and looking toward a better future for my children and humanity? Do I think I have what it takes to help them see what’s right and good and help them become leaders? Voices of change? Decent humans?  Hell yes!

Is our system flawed? Yes indeed. However, a few bad seeds aren’t the majority. I have been mistreated by police officers. Does that mean I think they’re all bad? No. The majority are good and have good, legitimate intentions. They risk their lives every damn day they put on that uniform.

Is there privilege? Yes. Undeniably. You can’t force the ugly parts out of people, especially those who have the perma- asshole syndrome. Some people spend their entire lives trying to prove they are above everyone else. However, we live in a society where anything is possible for anyone. We are a privileged society. All things aside, all color and religion aside, we are privileged. Period.

There is trash in every color. Ugly, extreme points of view everywhere. Fear and anger overflowing into our streets. Unnecessary destruction, rioting and looting. Innocent people losing things they have worked a lifetime to build. People being injured or killed over words, opinion, ignorance and hate. We’re killing everything that we have worked for to become better than our ancestors. The very instances that we should appreciate and celebrate that those suffered for in the past, are now wasted.

We’re becoming little more than animals fighting to get farther up the food chain and prance around in our prideful, legend in our own mind mentalities, exclaiming we are above all.

I call bullshit on all of it. I put my pants on the same as every other human. I take care of my own. I have been on both sides of the track and the only difference is the amount of money one has in their pocket. I have needed help at times and the rest of the time, I give back by helping others. I have been a victim of everything one can imagine yet, I am a kind, caring, decent human. I don’t think that everyone owes me for the actions of some. I came from less than nothing yet, I have sat at tables and have relationships with people who are well above me according to societies rules. We see each other as humans. Money doesn’t dictate our relationships. I have friends of other color and ethnicities who have met and exceeded every dream I had as a child ( or as an adult for that matter.)  I have been the minority in every sense of the word yet, I am successful. I have alot more than so many and less than others. I see the wrong in our world and hope to be part of change for the better, while living in those  very real moments that I am being criticized for my choices and beliefs. I have never nor will I ever see color and yet, I have been treated according to the color of my own skin at different times in my life.

All of the above and yet, here I stand. Proud of the person that I am. Proud of the humans that I call my children, proud of my family. Proud to live in a place where everyone has the ability to become whatever they choose. Proud to live in a country that says all are welcome regardless of their history or color as long as they do it by the rules. Proud that I am not closed minded and live in the past. There is no such thing as a “pure” white. Proud because color, gender and ethnicity aside, I am a decent human who wants the same damn things as every other human on the planet. If I have done nothing else to leave my mark on this world, I am the example of what I expect  from people in this world in return. I am the example of how I expect my sons and daughters to be treated, regardless of their color or nationality.

I take pride in being a human who refuses to see color, fights against crimes committed against humanity and pride in living in the most beautiful, wealthy nation in the world. It’s time that some others get on the same page because unless it’s positive, I will not be part of the damn problem.

I am the face of a human who fights to be the solution. Please join me, our world needs alot more help to heal and unite.

More Love. Less Hate.  H

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